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Writer's picturePhil Spence

The Difference Between Flawed and Abusive Fathers

Updated: Aug 8, 2024

© 2023 Philip M Spence


We are all flawed, but true spiritual fathers raise sons who will fulfil their potential, and their God-given call.

 

Proverbs 4:10-13

 

10 Hear, my son, and receive my sayings, and the years of your life will be many.

11 I have taught you (Poured into you) in the (Path) way of wisdom; I have led you (Trodden) in right paths.

12 When you walk, your steps will not be hindered, and when you run, you will not stumble.

13 Take firm hold of instruction, do not let go; Keep (Seize) her, for she is your life.

 

Here are 5 characteristics of Abusive Fathers and how it impacts on sons.

 

[1] Abusive Fathers Are Helicopter Parents

 

They keep watch over every detail to the extent that the sons are never ready to fly solo.

 

They don’t train and release; they keep sons serving them so that they don’t fully become sons.

 

Stunted sons are the result.

 

[2] Abusive Fathers Over Promise and Under-Deliver

 

‘When this happens, I will do this’ and it never happens.

 

Disappointed sons are the result.

 

[3] Abusive Fathers Overstate and Under-Release

 

They say that they want their sons to go beyond them, but at some point, they introduce a ceiling beyond which their sons cannot rise.

 

Frustrated sons is the result.

 

[4] Abusive Fathers Capitalise on Their Sons’ Success

 

They say that they are proud of their sons’ achievements but make sure everyone knows how many sons they have, and who their sons are.

 

Angry sons is the result.

 

[5] Abusive Fathers Manipulate Sons for their Own Gain

 

They set up a structure in their network to ensure their own financial security.

 

They misuse scripture to support this structure.

 

Sons who manipulate others is the result.

 

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Phil Spence is an author, speaker, mentor and musician. He leads Enlarj, a relational apostolic network influencing more than 20 nations. He oversees School of the Kingdom in many of these nations. Phil is internationally recognised as an apostle. Phil may be contacted via phil@enlarj.com

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